A few days ago someone used a word I didn't know after I told her about my upcoming cycling tour and accompanying blog: "catharsis". She simply said the word as an afterthought and I was afraid of embarrassing myself by admitting my unfamiliarity but I felt it was important so I looked it up on my phone the first chance I got. This is what I found:
ca·thar·sis (/kəˈTHärsis/)
1. the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong emotions.
2. a purification or purgation of the emotions that brings about spiritual renewal.
I had known that cycling helped me to release my grief-related emotions. I mean, whenever I complete a challenging ride I almost immediately start sobbing. Just to get it out, whatever concoction of feelings that is stirred up by the exercise. I had also known that sharing my plight via Blogger helped me to process what I'm going through in a way that is constructive for me and seemingly beneficial for my audience.
What I didn't know was that there was already a word to describe what I'm doing. I don't know why it matters to me that such a word exists, but it truly does. This single word so perfectly establishes what I had been using sentences to try to convey.
I'm thankful to God for the ways that he has provided for me to grieve. I see it as a gift, this unexpected combination of cycling and blogging. It has been strenuous but redemptive. Messy yet cleansing. Both exhausting and revitalizing at the same time.
For lack of a better word, it has been...well, cathartic.
(By the way, I'm 82% funded. Only $810 to go! And I expect the memorial ride for my brother will provide me with much more than that!)
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