Day 1 - Orientation 1

The big day finally came and Bike & Build has officially started!

This morning I drove from Columbia to Charleston, South Carolina and met up with my fellow SC2SC riders at Trinity United Methodist Church, the host site for our time in Charleston.

In short, our first day consisted of:

Gear check (Fortunately I had already made a list and checked it twice. Well, maybe 17 times…)

The longest name game in the history of name games (Nice Piano Noah, Michigan Molly, Dancing Dave, Machine Gun MG, Joyful Joel...)

Briefings on subjects such as hygiene and Bike & Build policy (Saddle sores are a real things!)

Dinner provided by the local Habitat chapter complete with beneficiary appearances

A spontaneous free-time walk to the Battery and back (I ended up being the tour guide since I’m from the area-ish. I hope the information I spouted out wasn’t entirely false…)

Getting my gear checked in and approved 

Team acting out Bike & Build's policies 

Of course, all of this was sprinkled with countless awkward introductory conversations with people that I will likely be close friends with by the end of the summer.

I’m not going to lie… I’m exhausted. And this blog is extremely hard to write. I wish I were going to go to sleep in my own bed. I wish I were with close friends or family instead of strangers. I’m out of my comfort zone. And it’s entirely possible that I will cry myself to sleep tonight.

Thankfully, my Mom always reminds me to enjoy the journey, even the parts that might not seem so nice at the moment.

The Catty Corner: I’ve been told by multiple riders (who just so happen to be from the North) that I have an accent. To which I respond in my head, “No... You’re in South Carolina now. I’m from here.” Regardless, many amusing imitations ensue. 

Ride of Silence

The Ride of Silence is a yearly international bicycle ride to commemorate cyclists killed or injured while riding on public roads. It helps to raise awareness among motorists of the dangers they pose to cyclists. This year's Ride of Silence "just happened" to fall on the eve of my cross-country trip. So earlier today I rode in silence in honor of my brother. I could not have thought up a better last ride in Columbia before I head to Charleston tomorrow morning. I am thankful for the opportunity to represent him in the Ride of Silence and this summer through Bike & Build.

Red wristband if you have been injured by a motorist. Black wristband if you know someone who has been injured or killed.

Ending the ride with a tunnel formation.

The Faith Home - Noah's Ark Dormitory

If you've read my blog at all then you know that my brother is my biggest inspiration in taking on a cross-country cycling trip, specifically to benefit those in need of affordable housing. Before I leave for my trip, though, I want to take the time to commend my Dad for the amazing work that he has done in my brother's honor since his death some 15 month ago. 

But first, some background information:

When my brother was alive he went to a drug and alcohol rehab in Greenwood, South Carolina called the Faith Home. The Faith Home is a Christian rehabilitation center that offers an 8-week program based on the 12 steps of AA, NA, and Al-Anon. The Faith Home relies solely on outside contributions and donations, which is significant because it means that the services provided are completely free of charge for the residents. Unfortunately, this also means that finances are a very real hinderance, limiting the amount of work the Faith Home is able to do. For instance, the Faith Home has a reasonably large waiting list because there are more people in need of services than there are rooms to house them.

When my brother died, my Dad almost immediately decided that he wanted to do something good in his honor. He called Mama Barnes, one of the cofounders and the current executive director of the Faith Home, and asked if she would be interested in the construction of a new dorm. My Dad then reached out to all of his clients and friends requesting materials, labor, financial pledges, etc. (FYI: My Dad is a CPA who specializes in consulting for construction contracting firms, so he has lots of contacts in the biz.) He received great support and with some serious hard work the floor plans for the dormitory were completed just in time for our first Christmas without Harrison.

Harrison's stocking on Christmas Day 2013

Noah's Ark Dormitory will be able to house 28 residents and 4 staff members. There are 14 resident rooms that will house 2 residents each, 4 staff rooms with private bathrooms, 2 shower rooms with 4 showers each, and 2 restrooms with 3 toilets each. In the middle is an atrium for common use. All of this, in the shape of a cross.

Noah's Ark Dormitory floor plans

Now that we're up to speed:

This past Saturday, I went to the Faith Home with my family for the annual BBQ fundraiser. I saw (for the second time only) the construction that is in progress. And I was blown away! I'll let the photographs speak for themselves.

Left to right: Aunt Lori, Teresa, me, Mom (all but one of my "moms", Nora)

Noah's Ark Dormitory: under construction!

Resident room

Atrium

Faith Home men playing volleyball

Dad, I want you (and the rest of the world) to know how very proud I am of you. I imagine that it must be so very difficult for you to stomach all of the losses that you have experienced: your brother, your father, and now your son. I hate that for you, I truly do. But I see that you are using the negative events that have happened in your life for the good of countless others. And I don't take that lightly. I am truly inspired by you and look at you as a example of how to respond to trials and tribulations. I won't forget that through all of this, you always wake up singing about sunshine and happiness. I'm so glad that your dream is becoming a reality. I love you! Thank you for always loving and supporting me.

If you would like more information about the Faith Home or would like to donate to the Faith Home please visit: http://www.faithhomegwd.net/

  

When it comes I want to wail, "MAIL"!

If anyone would like to know how to send me something while I'm gone this summer, here's some information I stole from Bike & Build's website:

Bike & Build groups will receive mail approximately once a week while on the road, and welcome letters and packages from friends, family, and supporters. Mail will be delivered through USPS General Delivery. Please be sure to send mail in ample time to arrive prior to the pick-up date and only through the United States Postal Service (The Post Office will not accept mail from any other carrier). Address mail to:

Bike & Build
Attn: CYCLIST NAMEGeneral Delivery
STREET ADDRESS (if noted)CITY, ST ZIP

Please mark the envelope or package with "Please hold for pick-up on DATE."

Late mail will be forwarded to the mail drop two weeks ahead. Late mail from the last two mail drops will be returned to sender.

May 22 Charleston SC 29401
May 29 Newberry SC 29108
June 05 Rome GA 30165
June 12 Batesville, MS 38606
June 19 Oklahoma City OK 73102
June 26 Clayton, NM 88415
July 03 Pueblo, CO 81003
July 10 Buena Vista, CO 81211
July 17 Provo, UT 84601
July 24 Twin Falls, ID 83301
July 31 Lakeview, OR 97630
August 07 Colusa CA 95932

ca·thar·sis (/kəˈTHärsis/)

A few days ago someone used a word I didn't know after I told her about my upcoming cycling tour and accompanying blog: "catharsis". She simply said the word as an afterthought and I was afraid of embarrassing myself by admitting my unfamiliarity but I felt it was important so I looked it up on my phone the first chance I got. This is what I found:

ca·thar·sis (/kəˈTHärsis/)
1. the process of releasing, and thereby providing relief from, strong emotions.
2. a purification or purgation of the emotions that brings about spiritual renewal.

I had known that cycling helped me to release my grief-related emotions. I mean, whenever I complete a challenging ride I almost immediately start sobbing. Just to get it out, whatever concoction of feelings that is stirred up by the exercise. I had also known that sharing my plight via Blogger helped me to process what I'm going through in a way that is constructive for me and seemingly beneficial for my audience.

What I didn't know was that there was already a word to describe what I'm doing. I don't know why it matters to me that such a word exists, but it truly does. This single word so perfectly establishes what I had been using sentences to try to convey.

I'm thankful to God for the ways that he has provided for me to grieve. I see it as a gift, this unexpected combination of cycling and blogging. It has been strenuous but redemptive. Messy yet cleansing. Both exhausting and revitalizing at the same time.

For lack of a better word, it has been...well, cathartic.

(By the way, I'm 82% funded. Only $810 to go! And I expect the memorial ride for my brother will provide me with much more than that!)

“The Accident – A Great Day Turned Tragic” by Harrison Greenway

A few days after Harrison died, my Mom and I were going through some of his papers and stumbled upon a reading response journal he kept for his English class. This entry in particular stood out to us, for reasons that will be obvious to you once you've read it. It's eerie really, the unbeknownst foreshadowing that exists as Harrison reflects on the sudden death of his closest childhood friend, Patrick Terry, just a month or so before he himself was killed.

“The Accident – A Great Day Turned Tragic” by Harrison Greenway

I can relate to Aaron and his loss of a loved one, although my experience is a tad bit different. Everyone has that one special friend growing up that you spent time with as soon as the doors opened to let school out until the sun went down. On the weekends you would have sleepovers; you would play all day long. I sure did and his name was Pat. Pat and I did everything together: fished, rode go-carts, dirt bikes, and skateboards, built forts in the woods and caused mayhem around the neighborhood. Pat was a free soul, always acting on impulse. I think this is the reason we were so close. As a kid growing up you think you are invincible; things happen to others but not to you. Well, as we grew up, our lives took different paths. We grew apart but all my childhood memories are filled with Pat and the life we shared and how I did so many new things with him. The first time I moved to Columbia he stayed in Greenville. We didn't keep in touch very often and would see each other from time to time but not like we used to growing up. On December 1^st of 2010, a bright sunny day, I got a call from my father, "Son, do you remember your friend Pat?" My heart sank. I knew the next words coming out of his mouth. The words that followed totally changed my outlook on sustaining friendships and how I should treat people. “He was killed in a car accident last night”, my Dad replied. I hung up the phone, went outside and sat for hours reminiscing on all the times we spent together. I was devastated and after all these years gone past…Why didn't I keep in touch? Why couldn't we hang out one more time? The death of Pat affected everyone differently, most in a positive way, and although I knew I would never see Pat again I knew I could improve all my friendships and work on the way I treated people. Made me look at others as if it would be the last time I saw them.

Amen, brother. Amen.

Fix You

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace.
When you love someone, but it goes to waste.
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you...
-"Fix You" by Coldplay

Those lyrics basically sum up my day today. I've cried...a lot. With my coworkers, by myself, with strangers and best friends. In public, at work, and in the privacy of my own home/car. The silent type when tears slip out effortlessly as you try to choke them back and the I'm-crying-so-hard-I'm-going-to-throw-up-I'm-sorry-I-got-snot-on-your-jeans type.

I woke up today knowing that I would be attending my first GriefShare meeting. (GriefShare is analogous to AA but for people who have lost loved ones; its 13 week curriculum is composed of video sessions, group discussions, and daily "homework" activities all focused on different aspects of the grieving process.) Needless to say, I woke up expecting a difficult day.

While I was at work, I got a text message from my Mom telling me to check Facebook. When I did so, I found that I had been invited to an event called A Ride to Remember! In Memory of Harrison Greenway. I read the event info and discovered that Harrison's best friend's family is putting together a memorial motorcycle ride on February 22, 2014 (the Saturday closest to his one year death anniversary). All of his friends, as well as anyone else who wants to participate, are planning to ride through town, stopping by the site of the wreck.

But here's the kicker: the Watkins' are asking that everyone pay $20 in order to participate in the ride. For me. To donate to my Bike & Build fund so that my own memorial ride can become a reality too.

I lost it. Right there in the middle of work. And I have been losing it ever since every time I think about it. I hate that such an outpouring of love and support must come only as a result of such horrible life circumstances. HATE it. But I am moved beyond words by the outpouring itself. Thank you to the Watkins family for honoring my brother and myself in such a way. And thank you in advance to everyone who will be participating in the ride.

In GriefShare tonight, we were told that grief is the recognition that you've lost someone you love. That if there were no love there would be no grief. If that's true, then I loved my brother a whole lot, because losing him has been more painful than I could've ever imagined. There is no "fixing" what has happened. No way to make my broken heart forget. But maybe...just maybe...there are degrees of healing and redemption in the midst of the pain.